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Not politically correct… but some funny ones

- 19 November 2012, 08:11


I got sacked from my job as a Bingo caller. Apparently ” A meal for two with
a hairy view” is not the way to call No 69

I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . It makes the wife look
like she’s moving during sex.

Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them, they said it would
be just like winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped
off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

A Muslim has died whilst training to be a Skydiver. The “BNP school of
diving” said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open.

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered
sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $12.50/min (charges
may vary).

Just booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife.  Bound to end in
tears though; she’s crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my
feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of
ham then delete it. It’s Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I’m wrong but
I don’t think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this
beer belly.

I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in
Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers
the little bastards deserved it!

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