Wan's World

BLOND MEN JOKES

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A friend told the blond man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
The blond man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
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Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
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A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”
He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
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A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
“I think it’s got epilepsy,” he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”
The blonde man says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”
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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone
“My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”
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A blonde man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.

“Here boy!” he replies.
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(This one actually makes sense.)

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”