Wan's World

Pensioner’s reply re Bunnings

Tweet

Didn’t like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I  was at my local Bunnings store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food  for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an elephant?  So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on  impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I  was starting the Winalot Diet again.  I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 2  stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of  most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel  hungry.  The food is  nutritionally complete so it works well and  I was going to try it  again.  (I have to mention here that  practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I  told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.  I’m now banned from Bunnings.  Better watch what you ask retired people.  They  have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends….. it will be their laugh for the day.