- It is with great horror that I read the following article just now:
- Washington, DC-Government officials confirmed today that supplies of the
- popular punctuation mark used to express surprise, shock or outrage, has
- reached critically low levels and shortages this writing season appear to be
- unavoidable.
- “The exclamation point has been over-used to the point of near-extinction,”
- said senior staff member, Janet Falcone, of the Office of Manageable Grammar
- (OMG). “People seem to be unable to write even the most basic thought
- without adding an exclamation point.”
- According to industry sources, the dwindling supplies and increased demand
- have depleted this once-rich resource. Compounding the problem is the
- growing number of English speakers in traditionally non-English regions.
- Exports of exclamation points have doubled every ten years since the
- mid-1970s, a growth rate that is only expected to increase this century.
- “It used to be that we could count on cartoonists and porn writers to
- intelligently manage the use of exclamation points,” Falcone said.
- “Unfortunately, their long-standing respect for punctuation is not shared by
- today’s writers.”
- But it’s ok. I have plenty for sale at a bargain price. They are hardly
- used so you cannot tell them from brand new ones!
- Each exclamation mark comes with a free breast pump!!!
- Cheers!!!
- Wan!!!
