Author: csiadmin

  • The Blonde Pilot..

    This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. 

     

    He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.

     

    “May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.  And I don’t know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!”

     

    She hears a voice over the radio saying:

     

    “This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.

    ‘Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position.” 

     

    She says, “I’m 5’4″ and I’m in the front seat.”

     

    (Pause)

    “O.K.” says the voice on the radio…. “Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ….”

  • CADBURY’S CHOCOLATE . . .

    I Did NOT Know this:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    DO YOU EAT CADBURY’S CHOCOLATE?

    We were raised on CADBURY’S chocolate as kids and even into adulthood but I will never eat it again!!
    I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any.
    It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.
    This is what happens when you eat Cadbury’s chocolate!
    THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING!
    It could happen to you, your family and friends!
    CADBURY’S CHOCOLATE
    can cause
    SMALL FEET!

  • When I Was 13…..

     

    When I was 13, I hoped that, one day, I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

    When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

    In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

    When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.  Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

    When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

    So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

    When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

    I am older and wiser now,

    I’m looking for a girl with big tits.

  • Doctor Knows Best

    Ray is gay.

    He goes into the doctor’s office and has some tests run.

    The doctor comes back and says, ‘ Ray, I’m not going to beat around  the bush.
    You have AIDS.’

    Ray is devastated. ‘Doc, what can I do?’

    Doc says ‘Eat 1  curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of All Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice’.

    Ray asks bewildered, ‘ Will that cure me, Doc?’

    Doc says, ‘No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for’.

  • Hump Day Maxine !!

    Wouldn’t  you love to say this to someone???

  • Same Sex Thing!

    Okay. . . . let’s just put this same sex thing in perspective!!

  • Get Ready to Smile

    I told you not to give me that last beer…

    Now how do I get down?

    Who me? I wasn’t doing nothin

    What does it take to get a walk around here?

    Yep, I peed

    Darling, wake me at 3:00

    If you want something done right…

    When I said my ears were cold I had no idea you’d take it so seriously

    Cat headband

    When I said I wanted a little brother I meant a DOG

    I’m starting to get annoyed…

    I’m getting too old for this crap

    I keep on telling you, I’m not a duck!

    Dude your breath is curling my ear!

    Wait, wait…

    This isn’t the A Train you know

    So this is where you live eh?

     

    Don’t tell anybody

    Kisses!

    Wait a minute…

    I sho does luv you!

    Air flossing!

    Hee Hee

  • The Queen of England

    I was a little shocked by the pictures when it penetrated my brain how long she’s been around. She gives new meaning to the phrase “Long Live the Queen”.

    How old does this one make you feel? Keep scrolling…


    I don’t know about you, but I went WOW somewhere between Eisenhower and Truman.

    ( P.S. After looking at this I am shocked at how long I’ve been around, too…)

     

    IF YOU REMEMBER ALL OR MOST OF THESE PRESIDENTS, YOU’RE NO SPRING CHICKEN EITHER!

  • Blonde Heart Attack


    A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

    She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting..

    ‘What’s up?’  She asks.

    ‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’   –   cries the husband..

    The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up

    And says,   “Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on”

    The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband..

    Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

    ‘You rotten Bitch’, she screams.

     

    ‘My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!’

  • Copyright and Copywrong

    WANThe hotly contested trial between Oracle and Google has produced an interesting and controversial decision. The result is what happens when attempting to ask a non-technical person to decide the answer to a technical  issue. Although a best attempt was made, the decision is not without issues.

    We have yet to see the definitive written decision and the devil will be in the details. The decision is likely narrowly written and will [hopefully] be without the broad interpretation which is currently being aired.

    Google ‘may’ have escaped this time around, but ethically they have failed.

    Can an API be copyrighted. The correct answer is YES. If the answer is NO, then the question is wrong.

    The specific case of JAVA may present some conditions where the API copyright is questionable, but the basis is fairly clear [until muddied by legalities]. JAVA was conceived as a way of creating a level field and consistent field for programming applications which could be used over all platforms. The machine behind the API’s has to meet a set of tests to ensure 100% compatibility. Anyone can write such a machine and it must be able to pass all tests to be called a Java Machine. But who can do that? Who provided the framework that made it possible? In this case it was SUN. SUN provided the tools to ensure conformity and issued licenses as needed to those wishing to use those API’s to produce machines which implemented the JAVA standards. SUN also allowed anyone to use the API’s without license but the result could not be called JAVA. Fair enough.

    The other side of the coin is that users are free to program applications using the API with the assumption that the application will perform according to the specification of the API, regardless of who provides the machine and what platform is used to run the application. There is no charge for use of the API on this respect.

    By ruling that that the API’s cannot be copyrighted, the decision creates a situation where there is no longer a guarantee that writing an application to the JAVA API’s is actually going to perform as expected. The specific case of Google and Android is limited in scope and probably presents a minimal problem [at the moment].

    What happens tomorrow when the next “Google” comes along and does a new “90+%” implementation of the API’s and calls it JAVA. We have just split the JAVA community into three parts – SUN JAVA, ANDROID JAVA and NEWGEN JAVA, and the problem explodes.

    We already see the problems of an uncontrolled ANDROID although that is not technically a JAVA issue.

    What should happen in this case is that the language which Google has created should be called ANDROID [or some other name]. It can be promoted as being “similar” to JAVA, but cannot be called JAVA. Problem solved. No Copyright issue involved. That was the decision which should have happened.

    Coming back to the Copyright Issue. If I write a new piece of work which is meant to be used by the community in order for that new work to be used, I must publish the interface specification [or API]. Without that, my work is useless. In order to benefit from my work, I need to be assured that my work is protected from being copied. And that protection is in making sure that the interface specification [API] cannot be hijacked by someone else. The work is my creation. The API is my creation and of necessity must be published in order to be useful. Copyrighted.

    If I then wish to have my work more widely distributed, then I can decide to LICENSE my work to others for the purpose of getting a wider distribution. I allow others to use my API’s to create a Legal Copy of my work and users can choose to use my work or another creation of the work with the 100% guarantee that the results will be identical. My COPYRIGHT is preserved through the LICENSE process. I can choose to charge for the LICENSE, or I can be very generous and issue a free-of-charge license with restrictions and conditions. That is my decision to make.

    The decision in the Google-Oracle case is troubling. The floodgates for unrestricted pirating of intellectual property has just been unleashed. If I were a member of the RIAA I would be choking. The Motion Picture Producers even more so.

    But we can argue “fair use”. Another joke. As soon as the “fair use” involves essentially pirating followed by worldwide distribution and “fair use” has an entirely new meaning.

    One can hope that a detailed reading of the Google-Oracle decision is a very very constrained and limited effect decision. None-the-less it is a decision based on the wrong question. And that problem lies squarely in Oracle’s lap.