Category: Wan’s Wisdom

It takes a lot of talent to carve a tree………

Billy Graham, Born 1918.

Billy Graham is now 93-years-old [2012] with Parkinson’s disease. 

In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte , North Carolina , invited their favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor. 

Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson’s disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, ‘We don’t expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.’

So he agreed. 

After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, “I’m reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century.

Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. 

It wasn’t there. 

He looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. 

Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it. 

“The conductor said, ‘Dr. Einstein, I know who you are..  We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket.  Don’t worry about it.’

“Einstein nodded appreciatively.

The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket. 

“The conductor rushed back and said, ‘Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one.’ 

Einstein looked at him and said, ‘Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going.” 

Having said that Billy Graham continued, “See the suit I’m wearing? It’s a brand new suit. My children, and my grandchildren are telling me I’ve gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. 

You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I’ll be buried. But when you hear I’m dead, I don’t want you to immediately remember the suit I’m wearing. I want you to remember this:

I not only know who I am. I also know where I’m going.” 

In a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs.

Unfortunately,
Due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine.

The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression.
The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother’s cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother..

The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment.
Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species..

The only orphans’ that could be found quickly, were a litter of weanling pigs.
The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger…
Would they become cubs or pork chops?

Take a look…you won’t believe your eyes.

* Insert Political Party of Your Choice.

And for safe sex, we wore wedding rings…

People often get confused and mistake the meaning of the word “Marketing.”

It seems that it is either too complex or too boring for people to remember.

Here’s a very simple way to get your arms around it.

1. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re a woman at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

3. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

4. You’re a woman and you see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

5. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

6. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto the roof of one of the houses situated in the middle of the complex and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Junk Mail.

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9. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney says that you were offended by it, so you sue and you are awarded a big cash settlement.