Category: Wan’s Wisdom
Some Deeper meaning stories
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Retired?
The importance of an occupation after retirement
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person:
THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:
“I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you do now that you’re retired?’
Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine.
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YOU MIGHT FIND THIS INTERESTING. PRETTY COOL
YOU MIGHT FIND THIS INTERESTING. PRETTY COOL –
Giant Concrete Arrows…
This Really Exists:
Giant Concrete Arrows That
Point Your Way Across America…
Every so often, usually in the vast deserts of the American Southwest,
a hiker or a backpacker will run across something puzzling:
a large concrete arrow, as much as seventy feet in length,
sitting in the middle of scrub-covered nowhere.
What are these giant arrows? Some kind of surveying mark?
Landing beacons for flying saucers? Earth’s turn signals?
No, it’s…
The Transcontinental Air Mail Route.
On August 20, 1920, the United States opened its first coast-to-coast
airmail delivery route, just 60 years after the Pony Express closed up shop.
There were no good aviation charts in those days,
so pilots had to eyeball their way across the country using landmarks.
This meant that flying in bad weather was difficult,
and night flying was just about impossible.
The Postal Service solved the problem with the world’s first ground-based
civilian navigation system: a series of lit beacons that would extend from
New York to San Francisco. Every ten miles, pilots would pass a bright yellow
concrete arrow. Each arrow would be surmounted by a 51-foot steel tower
and lit by a million-candlepower rotating beacon.
(A generator shed at the tail of each arrow powered the beacon.)
Now mail could get from the Atlantic to the Pacific not in a matter of weeks,
but in just 30 hours or so.
Even the dumbest of air mail pilots, it seems, could follow a series of bright
yellow arrows straight out of a Tex Avery cartoon. By 1924, just a year after
Congress funded it, the line of giant concrete markers stretched from Rock Springs,
Wyoming to Cleveland, Ohio. The next summer, it reached all the way to New York,
and by 1929 it spanned the continent uninterrupted, the envy of postal systems worldwide.
Radio and radar are, of course, infinitely less cool than a concrete
Yellow Brick Road from sea to shining sea, but I think we all know how
this story ends. New advances in communication and navigation technology made
the big arrows obsolete, and the Commerce Department decommissioned the beacons
in the 1940s. The steel towers were torn down and went to the war effort.
But the hundreds of arrows remain. Their yellow paint is gone,
their concrete cracks a little more with every winter frost,
and no one crosses their path much, except for coyotes and tumbleweeds.
But they’re still out there.
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The search is over for the most stupid person in Australia!
Almost unbelievable this letter writer signed their name to the letter ….The Search Is Over For The
Most Stupid Person In Australia!This is from letters to the editor in The Border Morning Mail, in Albury. 
This might be stupid, but what about our curtains fading more for the extra hour of sunlight? -
Marriage License problems
Marriage License problems
San Francisco Marriage License Counter:“Next.”
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”
“Names?”
“Tim and Jim Jones.”
“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”
“Yes, we’re brothers.”
“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”
“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”
“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”
“Incest?” No, we are not gay.”
“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”
“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”
“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”
“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”
“And I want to marry Tim, are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”
“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”
“Hi. We are here to get married.”
“Names?”
“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”
“Who wants to marry whom?”
“We all want to marry each other.”
“But there are four of you!”
“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me.
All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”
“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”
“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”
“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”
“Since when are you standing on tradition?”
“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”
“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”
“All right, all right. Next.”
“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”
“In what names?”
“David Deets.”
“And the other man?”
“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”
“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”
“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”
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WISE WORDS ~ SCROLL DOWN AND SMILE
SEX AT 66
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,informing me that Ican have sex at 66.
I’m so happy, because I live at number 72.
So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road!~~~~~
Answering machine message,
“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words,but I didn’t get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
“With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstormstearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,are we sure this is a good time to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?” -
Old Cemeteries!
Two favourites are Spike Milligan`s tombstone epitaph ” I told you I was ill “, and seen in an English Churchyard ” Here lies Owen More, who died owin’ more than he could pay ! ”
Old CemeteriesSome fascinating things on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.
=============================
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.
=============================
On the grave of Ezekiel Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekiel Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young.
=============================
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
=============================
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
=============================== Here lies Johnny Yeast.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Pardon him for not rising.
=============================== Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
==============================
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
================================ Sir John Strange.
A lawyer’s epitaph in England :
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
================================= Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne,
England, cemetery:
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
================================== On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :
================================== Here lies the body of our Anna,
Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,
Vermont :
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
================================== Under the sod and under the trees,
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,
Massachusetts :
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.
================================== Remember man, as you walk by,
In a cemetery in England :
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I’ll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.========
