Category: Wan’s Wisdom

Some Deeper meaning stories

  • Start your week with a puzzle. mmm

    Lateral thinking

    IF YOU ANSWER ALL FOUR, YOU ARE A GENIUS, ITS TRICKY NOT TOUGH!

    Check out your lateral thinking power!

    The first 4 images are the questions. Answers are given at the end.

    Please do not look at the answers first, these are really good. Try it.

    Question 1
    Start your week with a puzzle. mmm_001
    Question 2
    Start your week with a puzzle. mmm_002
    Question 3
    Start your week with a puzzle. mmm_003
    Question 4
    Start your week with a puzzle. mmm_004

    ANSWERS

    * 1. The last person took the basket with the egg in it.

    * 2. All the other card players were women.

    * 3. Pour the juice from the second glass into the fifth.

    * 4. The recluse lived in a lighthouse.

    PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

  • Chinese Hospitality

    CHINESE HOSPITALITY

    The Chinese have been trying to push tourism to China to greater heights.  So the government has asked all hotels, tourist guides and restaurants to provide all best possible services and proper guidance to tourists and learn English.  The hotels have now adopted a professional approach to attracting and guiding tourists – of which the following welcome letter provide a few examples.


    WELCOME LETTER


    Getting There

    Our representative will make you wait at the airport.
    The hotel bus runs along the lake and you will feel pleasure in passing water.
    You will know the hotel is near, because you will go round the bend.
    As you come into the hotel, our beautiful manager will offer welcome drinks
    and then have intercourse with all new guests.

    The Hotel

    This is a family hotel, so adultery and children are welcome.
    Nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.
    Guests are invited to mate in the bar and expose themselves to others.
    It is good to have intercourse with others and become fast friends.
    But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar.
    With our help they can be delivered in the baby centre.
    We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with himself.

    Your Room

    Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts.
    In winter, every room is on heat.
    Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity.
    All your needs are from room service.
    Please feel free to ring for the chambermaid and take advantage of her.

    Hospitality

    When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will struggle to forget it.

    WAN

     

  • Too funny not to share this……………. Priceless!

    20130523_Too funny not to share this

    Bless her little heart… How sweet…
    A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above:,
    She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
    “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”
    “I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice, big fat joint.
     Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.  On weekends, I pop pills, have sex, and I don’t exercise at all.
    “That is absolutely amazing! Just how old are you?”
    “Forty,” she replied
  • Chicken, horse and Harley

    On the farm lived a chicken and a horse,
    both of whom loved to play together.

    One day the two were playing,
    when the horse fell into a bog
    and began to sink.

    Scared for his life,
    the horse whinnied for the chicken
    to go get the farmer for help!

    Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

    Arriving at the farm, he searched and
    searched for the farmer, but to no avail,
    for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

    Running around, the chicken spied the
    farmer’s new Harley.

    Finding the keys in the ignition,
    the chicken sped off with a length of rope,
    hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life.

    Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
    to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley,
    and he managed to get a hold of the loop
    of rope the chicken tossed to him.

    After tying the other end to the rear bumper
    of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove
    slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike,
    rescued the horse!

    Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley
    back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was
    none the wiser when he returned.

    The friendship between the two animals was cemented:

    Best buddies, best pals.

    A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit,
    and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out
    to the horse to save his life!

    The horse thought a moment, walked over,
    and straddled the large puddle.
    Looking underneath,he told the chicken to grab
    his hangy-down thingy and he would then
    lift him out of the pit.

    The chicken got a good grip, and the horse
    pulled him up and out, saving his life.

    The moral of the story?
    (Yep, You betcha… There is a moral!)

    ‘When you’re hung like a horse,
    you don’t need a Harley to pick up chicks!’

    WAN

     

  • Accidents/Causes

    Accident / Causes

    Now don’t be hasty in your judgment. read to the end.


    Not cell phones……..


    Not the radio………


    Not the GPS monitor……


    Not talking………….


    Not texting…………..

    Not watching a car video……


    Not changing a CD…….


    The most frequent causes of accidents in the World are caused by:

    20130523_Accidents_00120130523_Accidents_00220130523_Accidents_003

    20130523_Accidents_00420130523_Accidents_00520130523_Accidents_006

    20130523_Accidents_00720130523_Accidents_008

    Yep !!!….


    You guessed it !!!….


    Inappropriate footwear
  • An Obituary

    Obituary printed in the London Times….. !! Oh how true. 

                Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

                – Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

                – Why the early bird gets the worm;

                – Life isn’t always fair;

                – and maybe it was my fault.

                Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

                His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

                Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

                It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

                Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

                Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

                Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

                Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

                He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

                I Know My Rights

                I Want It Now

                Someone Else Is To Blame

                I’m A Victim

                Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

    WAN

  • World’s Scariest License Plate Number.

    World’s Scariest License Plate Number

    20130522_World's Scariest License Plate Number

    I might try to pass her, but I sure wouldn’t honk my horn.

  • Appealed to me

    Bagpiper at a  funeral

    I found this anonymous  article deeply moving… I hope you do too.
    Read to the  end 20130522_appealed to me

    As a bagpiper, I play many  gigs. Recently I was asked by a
    funeral director to play at a  graveside service for a homeless
    Man. He had no family or  friends, so the service was to be at a
    Pauper’s cemetery in the  back country. As I was not familiar
    with the backwoods, I got  lost and, being a typical man,
    I didn’t stop for  directions.
    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral  guy had evidently
    gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.  There were only the
    diggers and crew left and they were eating  lunch.
    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.. I  went to the
    side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid  was already in
    place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I  started to play.
    The workers put down their lunches and began  to gather around.
    I played out my heart and soul for this  homeless man with no family and friends,
    and played like I’ve  never played before.
    When I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers  began to weep.
                                                                                                          They wept, I wept, we all wept together.  
                                     When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for  my car.
    Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
    As I  opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,
    “I  never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting  in
    septic tanks for twenty  years.”
                                                                                                  Apparently, I’m still lost…  It’s a man thing. 
  • Lawyers!

    A dying man gives each of his best friends
    — a lawyer, doctor and clergyman
    — an envelope containing $25,000 in cash to be
    placed in his coffin.

    A week later the man dies and the friends
    each place an envelope in the coffin.

    Several months later, the clergyman confesses that
    he only put $10,000 in the envelope and sent the
    rest to a mission in South America.

    The doctor confesses that his envelope had only
    $8,000 because he donated to a medical charity.

    The lawyer is outraged,
    “I am the only one who kept my promise to our
    dying friend.
    I want you both to know that the envelope I placed
    in the coffin contained my own personal check for
    the entire $25,000.”

    WAN

  • The Wise Barber

    A man enters a barber shop for a shave.
    While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the
    problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

    “I have just the thing,” says the barber, taking a
    small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.

    “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

    The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber
    proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
    After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech,

    “And what if I swallow it?”

    “No problem,” says the barber.
    “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!”

    WAN