Wan's World

Day: October 25, 2012

  • Eight thoughts to ponder…..

    EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER

    WAN

    Number 8

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Number 7

    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Number 6

    Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    Number 5

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.

    Number 4

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

    Number 3

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    Number 2

    In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    And The Number 1 Thought

    Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

    And as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age–it doesn’t last that long.”

  • Too Old To Squat

    An elderly man really took care of his body.

    He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day.

    One morning he looked in the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his pee-pee.

    So he decided to do something about that.

    He went to the beach, undressed completely and buried himself in the sand, except for his pee-pee, which he left sticking out of the sand.

    A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along.

    Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the thingy around with her cane.

    Remarking to the other little old lady, she said: “There really is no justice in the world.”

    The other little old lady asked: “What do you mean by that?”

    The first little old lady replied:

    “Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it.”

    “When I was 30, I enjoyed it.”

    “When I was 40, I asked for it.”

    “When I was 50, I paid for it.”

    “When I was 60, I prayed about it.”

    “When I was 70, I forgot about it.”

    “Now that I’m 80, the damned things are growing wild and I’m too old to squat.”