Wan's World

Day: March 8, 2013

  • Sexist Humour

  • TOO GOOOOOOOD!

    Always choose a memorable password!   
    mypenis.

    As he hits “enter”, to validate the selection, his wife
    collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria!!

    The computer had replied:
    TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!
    Always REMEMBER :
    You don’t stop laughing because you grow old.
    You grow old because you stop laughing.

  • 3/8 FYI

    SNORKELING IN Wisconsin

    Alcohol MAY have been involved.
    POEM
    It’s winter in Wisconsin
    And the gentle breezes blow
    Seventy miles an hour
    At twenty-five below.
    Oh, how I love Wisconsin
    When the snow’s up to your butt
    You take a breath of winter
    And your nose gets frozen shut.
    Yes, the weather here is wonderful
    So I guess I’ll hang around
    I could never leave Wisconsin
    ‘Cause I’m frozen to the ground
    Must be due to that latest snow storm???

  • Irish Pub Joke

    WAN

    John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said,

    “Here’s to spending the rest of me life,
    between the legs of me wife!”

    That won him the top prize at the pub for
    the best toast of the night!

    He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I
    won the prize for the best toast of the night.”

    She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was
    your toast?”

    John said, “Here’s to spending the rest
    of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

    “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!”
    Mary said.

    The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s
    drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said,
    “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you,
    Mary.”

    She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a
    bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last
    four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the
    other time he fell asleep.”

  • Complete & Finished

    WAN

    No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
    However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.

    His final challenge was this:
    Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
    Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.

    Here is his astute answer:
    “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
    But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
    And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”

    His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes

  • The Burned Biscuits

    When I was a kid, my mom would prepare special breakfast every now and then. And I remember one night in particular, after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: Honey, I love burned biscuits.

    Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned.

    He wrapped me in his arms and said, Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides – a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfect things…..and imperfect people. I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.

    What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults – and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences – is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

    And that’s my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker!

    We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

    Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket – keep it in your own.

    God Bless You….. now, and always….

    So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine.!.!.!.!

    And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life… I just did!