Month: March 2013
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Forget Newton and Galileo. Here are the real laws of nature
I DIDN’T BELIEVE THESE LAWS AT FIRST, BUT HAVE FOUND THEM TO BE TRUE FROM ACTUAL EXPERIENCE.1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability– The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5.Supermarket Law – As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
6.Variation Law –If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7.Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.8. Law of Close Encounters –The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15.Law of Logical Argument–Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
17.Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking– A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy–As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors’ Law– If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better… But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick. This has been proven over and overwith taking children to the pediatrician.
If you don’t forward this, your belly button will unscrew and your bum will fall off. -
Church sued by beer joint in Texas
MT. VERNON, TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE
Drummond’s Bar began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding, with petitions and prayers.
Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening, when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground!After the bar burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about “the power of prayer,” until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church “was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.”
In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise.
The judge read through the plaintiff’s complaint and the defendant’s reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that now does not.”
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Size Does Matter
I CERTAINLY THOUGHT THIS WAS ENLIGHTENING. BEYOND OUR SUN …… IT’S A BIG UNIVERSE.
ANTARES IS THE 15TH BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY.
IT IS MORE THAN 1000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY.
NOW HOW BIG ARE YOU?
———————————————————— —— NOW TRY TO WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THIS….. ……..
THIS IS A HUBBLE TELESCOPE ULTRA DEEP FIELD INFRARED VIEW OF COUNTLESS
‘ENTIRE’ GALAXIES BILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY.
BELOW IS A CLOSE UP OF ONE OF THE DARKEST REGIONS OF
THE PHOTO ABOVE.
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The Banana Test.
Don’t scroll past the animals until you have decided upon your answer.
The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are four animals…
,
A Lion
A Chimp
A Giraffe
,
…AND…
A Squirrel
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to
get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . .
Try and answer within 30 seconds.
Got your answer?Now scroll down to see the analysis.
:
If your answer is:
Lion = you’re dull.
Chimpanzee = you’re dense.
Giraffe = you’re a complete moron.
Squirrel = you’re hopeless.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN’T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you’re stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax
Have two glasses of wine.
A full box of Chocolates.
And a nice lunch.
Now hurry up and forward it to someone else.
They may need those glasses of wine. -
SUNDAY CLOTHES
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
‘Hello,’ said the little boy
‘Hi,’ replied the little girl..‘Where are you going?’ asked the little boy.
‘I’ve been to church this morning and I’m on my way home,’
answered the little girl.‘I’m also on my way home from church.
Which church do you go to?’ asked the little boy.
‘I go to the Baptist church back down the road,’ replied the little girl. ‘What about you? ‘
‘I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill,’
replied the little boy.They discover that they are both going the same way
So they decided that they’d walk together.They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
‘If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom’s going to skin me alive,’ said the little girl.
‘My Mom’ll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,’
replied the little boy.‘I tell you what I think I’ll do,’ said the little girl. ‘I’m gonna pull
off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across.’‘That’s a good idea,’replied the little boy.
‘I’m going to do the same thing with my suit.’
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked:
‘You know, I never realized before just how much difference there is between a
BAPTIST and a METHODIST!!!
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HOT ROD DENTIST’S OFFICE
This is way too cool for a Dentist Office.
Hot Rod Orthodontic Office
Well, after a three year pregnancy, here it finally is. I have posted odds and
ends of my new office here and there on the board, but I have had several
requests to do a separate post on it once it was all done. So, for what it’s
worth, here is our new hot rod orthodontic office.
Being the 50’s/60’s car nut I am, I also get a kick out of the architecture and just
the whole look of the time as well. Not wanting to build your average taupe
brick building, I wanted something that had more the look of a 50’s era
diner/drive-in/gas station sorta thing. I talked with the architect about that
and I think they jumped inside my head and knocked it out of the
park.
The interior was a bit more of a giving birth process (or as I would interpret that
having never been pregnant personally ). I had the
vision of the inside being a bit of a city inside with the outside of the rooms
having facades of different 50’s buildings you would think of when you think
50’s….soda fountain, burger joint, gas station, etc. It took a fair amount of
back and forth with the interior folks to get that sort of thing meshed with the
stuff you gotta have for an orthodontic office. But, eventually, I think we got
there.
Stepping in the front door, you are greeted with the woodie wagon front desk parked in
front of a Big Boy (although I still have to finish the signage for that).
The front desk started as a rusty $100 ’47 Merc coupe. Yes, a Merc…with a 46 Ford
grille. The Merc grille parts were not easily obtainable, where the Ford parts
are. Getting that Ford grille to fit the Merc….not a bolt in job. The
front clip and rear fender are off the car while the “woodie” part is cabinetry
made to look the part. The “roof” has the planked headliner look of the woodie
and is complete with vinyl top and surfboard. You get funny looks pulling up to
a surf shop with your wife and kids while on vacation and buy a board blank. To
the surfer dude, you do not look like a guy who knows what on earth to do with a
surf blank. But, I did and carved it down, glassed it and got it painted, then
proceeded to cut holes in it to run the mounts through…..I couldn’t bring
myself to do that to a vintage long board, so you build your own for the
purpose.
Most
everything here has a story and a fair amount of my childhood is in here. The
Big Boy out front was my favorite restaurant my folks took us to when I was a
kid. Next up is our new patient exam room with a soda fountain facade. Named
Fairmont ‘s, it is the soda fountain my grandpa used to take me to. This pic was
taken before the rest of the signage was put on the frosted windows and door,
but you get the idea. Inside, we gotta have the spinning fountain chairs in red
Zodiac vinyl. Also have the aluminum banded counter tops (all the counter tops
in the whole office are banded and in cool Formica).
Heading
on back to the main treatment area, we have lots going on, so here is the big
picture before we go around.
On
the far side, we have the movie theater tooth brushing area. We put the kids
names up on one side of the marquee when they come in for the first time
welcoming them to the office. On the side facing the treatment area, we put up
the kids names when they get their braces off as the “feature movie.” They get a
kick out of it and often take pictures with their name in lights. I had someone
stop me one day and ask me if I had a movie theater in my office. I told them I
sorta did and they said they saw it on Facebook with someone getting their
braces off. Guess the pics get around. LOL The lit movie poster marquee in the
back ground has a 1950’s sci-fi, b-movie poster of giant plaque eating the quiet
little tooth town that the awesomely creative graphic guys I use did for
me.
What
really started this whole design concept in the first place was the staff asking
if the new office could have some seating areas in the treatment area for
parents and friends that often come with the patients. Being a car guy, I
couldn’t have just any seating area, I need couches made out of the back ends of
cars, right? So, get me some parts cars, a tape measure and start cuttin’. All
the car furniture you see was built by my dad and myself Not really being able
to come up with good information on how anyone else had done it, we just pretty
much went on the fly and figured it out as we went. Even jumped in to figure out
the upholstery myself. I figured I had read enough books and watched enough
upholsterers over the years, how hard could it be? Fortunately, I have an aunt
who is a professional upholsterer, so she was handy to have on the phone when
kinks came up.
’56 Olds 98. That’s real tuck and roll there…you gotta have tuck and roll, ya
know?
’59 Caddy. Yup, that’s real fur on cow hide. Cows ‘n Caddy’s just go, no?
Gotta
have a gas station, right? Well, mine is Sinclair. When I was a kid, there was a
Sinclair station near my grandparent’s house, so I knew I was almost to
grandma’s when I saw that great big dinosaur. I have spent most of my life
hunting one down and finally came across one of the smaller ones. This
particular one is actually a fiberglass copy and has spent the last couple of
years in my kid’s play area where they climbed all over it and played on it
while the office was being built. They were most upset when the time came to
move it to its new home, but I was blessed to find an aluminum original at the
same time to take its place. Whew!
Down
the side hall, we have what will probably be a 5 and 10, but you can see I still
have to do some signage here.
My private office looks out onto the main treatment area and left a spot next to
the Sinclair station that would make a perfect garage door space. Rather than
make it a service bay, I thought doing it up as Larry Watson’s shop would be
cool. My dad’s first in 57 was a mild custom 51 Merc, which certainly had a big
influence on me. Another was getting the Grease Machines book for Christmas when
I was in Jr high. That book, if you’ve never seen it, is loaded with Larry
Watson paint jobs, as well as a spread on his Grapevine and panel painted ’59
Caddy. I’ve had this sickness bad ever since. So, in tribute to Larry (I finally
got a Merc in tribute to my dad…fortunately he is still here to enjoy it with
me), I built his shop and his Caddy for a desk looking out the shop bay with the
help of Rik Hoving, I got a picture of Larry’s shops (the blue diamonds are
actually from a later shop) and projected them on the wall for templates then
proceeded to paint and hand letter it all. I’m not going to take lettering up
for a living!
The Caddy desk was finally reassembled last week and still has some details that
need done….cabinet doors, paint some bare wood black, etc., but it’s pretty
much there. I wish I had some better pics of it, but it’s mucho heavy and has to
be assembled in place and can’t be moved back from the wall to take some good
pictures all the way around. Also, the candy and pearl white looks great
outside, but alas, it will never be outside. The sun shines through my office
window and hits it in the mornings, though, so I get to see it “right”
occasionally.
Something
like this does not come off with just one guy. I really got to thank some folks
who without their help and input this would not have happened. First is my wife,
certainly,. She has been very patient and indulgent and most helpful with ideas.
My dad who is the reason I am a car nut and who helped figure this crazy
furniture mess out. I had a great building crew who at first doubted a Dr.
really knew anything about building anything, much less something they hadn’t
seen done before. They gave me a lot of rope. Toadfrog is one of the body shop
instructors at the local high school. He got the kids to help with bodywork when
I got in a time crunch, spray some primer and he sprayed the color on the front
desk and the paint on the Watson desk. I am a blessed man.
