Wan's World

Day: April 7, 2013

  • The Postman

    WAN

    On Monday morning the Postman is walking through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

    ‘Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,’ the Postman comments.

    Derek, in obvious pain, replies ‘Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and It got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.’

    The Postman thinks a moment and says, ‘How do you play WHO AM I?’

    ‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet.. Then the women try to guess who it is.’

    The Postman laughs and says, ‘Sounds like fun. I’m sorry I missed that.’

    ‘Probably a good thing you did,’ Derek responded. ‘Your name came up seven times…

    Now I expect you know just how the Postman felt ! – !!!

  • Henry Ford

    WAN

    Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.
    At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him,
    “Well, you’ve been such a good guy, and your invention …
    the assembly line for the automobile changed the world.
    As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven
    you want.”

    Ford thinks to himself about it, and says,
    “I want to hang out with God Himself.”

    The befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne
    Room, and introduces him to God.

    Ford then asks God,
    “When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?”

    God asks, “What do you mean?”

    “Well,” says Ford,

    “You have some major design flaws in your invention:

    1. There’s too much front end protusion.
    2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
    3. Maintenance is extremely high.
    4. It constantly need repainting, and refinishing.
    5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
    6. The rear end wobbles too much.
    7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
    8. The headlights are usually too small.
    9. fuel consumption is outrageous.

    …just to name a few.”

    “Hmmm …,” replies God, “Hold on a minute.”

    God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer,
    types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results.

    In no time the computer prints out a report, and God reads it.

    God then turns to Ford, and says,

    “It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these
    statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours!”

  • Beach Talk

    WAN

    Little  boy at the nude beach.

    A  mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude  beach.

    As  the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the  women have boobs bigger than his mother’s, so he goes back  to ask her why.

    She  tells her son, ‘The bigger they are, the sillier the lady  is.’

    The  boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but  returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger  things than his dad does.

    She  replies, ‘The bigger they are, the dumber the man  is’

    Again  satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to  play.
    Shortly  thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his  mother,

    ‘Daddy  is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer  he talks, the dumber he gets.’