These photos are from Feb. 17 by someone from Centurion in Pilanesberg game reserve, South Africa .
The guy in the white car was trying to get past the elephant.
Road rage,…………it affects us all!
Month: June 2013
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Splinters in her crotch….. this is clean, AND funny
OUCH!!
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?” He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a “recreational area” so close to a waste treatment facility. I’m sorry, but due to Obama-Care…they turned you down.”
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Since 1955
NO SEX Since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major (***) found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”
“1955, ma’am.”
“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”
The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”
(Gotta love military time)
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Husband makes the lunches
Read THIS FIRST
For the 1st time in their 3 year marriage, a wife asked if her husband would mind making the next day’s lunches for them both.
Obligingly he agrees.The next morning, the young wife asks her loving husband, ‘Where are our lunches honey?’
He replied, ‘I put them on the second shelf of the fridge.
My lunch is the one on the left, and yours is on the right’
Have a look at the photo.
LOVE IT!!!
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THE ‘Y’ CHROMOSOME
THE ‘Y’ CHROMOSOME
People born before 1946 are called – The Greatest Generation.
People born between 1946 and 1964 are called – The Baby Boomers.
People born between 1965 and 1979 are called –Generation X.
And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called –Generation Y.
Why do we call the last group –Generation Y ?
Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food?
But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below…
Just thought you might want to know “Y” -
PUNOGRAPHY FOR PUNOLOGISTS
PunographyWhen chemists die, they barium.Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop at any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the moon goes and it finally dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They report said I had type-A blood, but it was a typ-o.
PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro – what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
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I bought a Jeep !!
I bought a Jeep!
Yes I bought a Jeep
Yes, a Jeep……
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PLACES THAT DEFY LOGIC
1. Cameron Falls – Alberta, Canada
This might look like a scene straight out of the Bible, but it’s actually a natural phenomenon where large amounts of red-colored sediment called argolite washed down the waterfall due to heavy rainfall.Image by Solent News / Rex / Rex USA2. Krzywy Domek – Sopot, Poland
Nope, this isn’t a bad photoshop job. Krzywy Domek, Polish for “crooked house,” was actually built this way.Source: Topory / via: en.wikipedia.org3. Tunnel of Love – Klevan, Ukraine
You would be forgiven if you believed this to be the path to Narnia. Located in Klevan, Ukraine, this “Tunnel of Love” is actually a private railroad for a nearby fiberboard factory.Image by Amos Chapple / Rex / Rex USA4. Hanshin Expressway – Hanshin, Japan
Yes, that’s an elevated highway running through a building. This unusual situation was the compromise reached between the highway’s builders and the landowners, with the highway noted as the official “tenants” of the floors that it winds through.Source: Ignis / via: en.wikipedia.org5. Zhangye Danxia Landform Geological Park – Gansu Province, China
This zebra-like pattern in the mountains was created by different layers of red sandstone and other mineral deposits being compressed together over millions of years. The resulting “layer cake” was then cleaved and buckled into its current position by the same tectonic plates responsible for creating parts of the Himalayan mountains.Image by Amos Chapple / Rex / Rex USA6. Setenil de las Bodegas – Spain
This might look like houses moments away from being crushed by a giant rock, but is actually the town of Setenil de las Bodegas in Spain. Over the course of its history, locals have built houses into the rocky overhangs of the gorge.Image by Juergen Richter / Getty Images7. Magdeburg Water Bridge – Magdeburg, Germany
Yes, that’s a river on top of another river. This giant water bridge took six years to make and is the world’s longest navigable aqueduct.Image by JENS SCHLUETER / AFP / Getty Images8. Cube Houses – Helmond, Netherlands
These cube houses were designed by architect Piet Blom. Each house is supposed to represent an urban tree and the series of houses a forest.Source: Geert C. Smulders / via: en.wikipedia.org9. Wave Rock – Hyden, Australia
Wave Rock is an example of a geological phenomenon known as a flared slope. This usually occurs when erosion is concentrated on the lower areas of the slope.Source: Kaliumfredrik / via: en.wikipedia.org10. The Nine Hells of Beppu – Beppu, Japan
Beppu, Japan is home to more than 2,900 hot springs of which “The Nine Hells of Beppu” are the most famous. These nine hells have colorful names such as “Boiling Hell” and “Shaven Monk’s Head Hell,” with the above being the “Blood Pond Hell.” This natural hot spring gets its red color from the ferrous (meaning that it contains iron) minerals found in the pond.Image by Tony Wheeler / Lonely Planet Images / Getty Images11. Living Tree Bridge – Cherrapunji, India
Deep in the rainforests of the Indian state of Meghalaya lie some of the most extraordinary pieces of civil engineering in the world. Here, in the depths of the forest, bridges aren’t built – they’re grown. Cherrapunji receives about 50 inches of rain a year which would easily rot normal wooden bridges. This is why, 500 years ago, locals began to guide roots and vines from the native Ficus Elastica rubber tree across rivers using hollow bamboo until they became rooted on the opposite side – eventually creating a bridge.
