Wan's World

Month: June 2013

  • AUNTY ACID

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  • Why don’t we think of something like this?

    Thought you’d enjoy:
    From The London Times:
    A Well-Planned Retirement
    Outside England’s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees for cars was $1.40, and for buses $7.
    Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up, so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo’s own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.
    The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.
    Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who’d apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day — for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars. And no one even knows his name.

    WAN

  • BANGKOK WARNING

    BANGKOK WARNING……….
    20130624_BANGKOK WARNING

  • 5 Riddles

    The 5 Riddles

    THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN

    THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM.
    RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING.
    IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN
    AND STALLS ALZHEIMER’S FOR YEARS

    1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him

    2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

    3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away

    4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday

    5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching

    THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW

    Answers:

    1. The third room. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are dead.
    That one was easy, right

    2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry shot held under water; and hung

    3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

    4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow

    5. The letter e which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

    I’ll be getting Alzheimers any time now.
    How did you do

    WAN

  • EXACTLY!!

    20130621_EXACTLY

  • Aircraft Fuel

    Dave  and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked  as aircraft  mechanics  in Heathrow Airport
    One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in  the      hangar  with nothing to do.

    Dave said, ‘Man, I wish we had  something to drink!’

    Jim  says, ‘Me too.  I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel  and  get  a  buzz.

    You  wanna try it?’

    So  they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane  booze      and  get completely smashed.

    The  next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good  he      feels.

    In  fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side  effects.

    Nothing!

    Then the phone rings. It’s Jim.  Jim says, ‘Hey, how do you feel  this  morning?’

    Dave says, ‘I feel great, how about you?’
    Jim  says, ‘I feel great, too. You don’t have a  hangover?’

    Dave  says, ‘No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover,  nothing.  We  ought to do this more often..’

    ‘ Yeah, well there’s just one  thing.’  

    ‘What’s  that?’

    ‘Have you farted yet?’

    ‘No.’

    ‘Well,  DON’T – cause I’m in Athens ‘

    20130621_Aircraft Fuel_001 20130621_Aircraft Fuel_002

  • While on a road trip

    While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped
    at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
    After finishing their meal, they left the
    restaurant, and resumed their trip.
    When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly
    left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t
    miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.
    By then, to add to the aggravation, they
    had to travel quite a distance before
    they could find a place to turn
    around,
    in order to return to the restaurant
    to retrieve her glasses.
    All the way back, the elderly husband
    became the classic grouchy old man.
    He fussed and complained, and
    scolded
    his wife relentlessly during the
    entire return drive. The more he
    chided her,
    the more agitated he became. He
    just wouldn’t let up for a single minute.
    To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
    As the woman got out of the
    car, and hurried inside to retrieve
    her glasses, the old
    geezer yelled to her,
    While you’re in there, you might as well
    get my hat and the credit card.
    This coming week is National Senior Mental
    Health Week. You can doYOUR part
    by
    remembering to contact at least one
    unstable Senior to show you care..
    I have now done MY part.
    WAN

  • Photo de moi gamin avec ma nounou.

    I found an old picture of me andmy first nanny …..
    My psychiatrist told me that this is exactly wheremy problems started!
    J’ai trouvé une vieille photo de moi et de
    ma première nounou…..
    Mon psychiatre me dit que c’est exactement là que mes problèmes ont commencé !
     20130621_Photo de moi gamin avec ma nounou
    I miss her so much …..!
    Elle me manque beaucoup…..!

  • Cartoon of the decade

    20130621_Cartoon of the decade

  • Think about these

    PONDERISMS

     

    (some things to think about)

     

     

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

     

     

     

    There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.

     

     

    Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

     

     

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

     

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

     

     

     

    Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

     

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

     

     

     

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

     

     

    In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

     

     

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out’? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .

     

     

     

     

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

     

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

     

     

    Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

     

     

    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

    WAN