Wan's World

Day: September 29, 2013

  • While I saw the punchline coming, it is still funny

    A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking.

    Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

     

    Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

    Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence..

    So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’

    The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

     

    ‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

    ‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.

    ‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.

    ‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.

    ‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.

    ‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

    ‘And you are still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

     

    ‘Nope,’ said the old man.

    More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’

     

    The man calmly replied…’Been married to your sister for 48 years. ‘

    WAN

  • THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK

    The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
    the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

    Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West
    Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

    KABOOM!

    He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

    KA-BLOOEY!

    Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

    BULLS-EYE!

    “I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

    So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.

    The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

    “Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

    “I don’t want to talk to you, the old woman says.”You are not my son!”

    “I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of
    my adoring fans.”

    “No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there
    are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your
    two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
    have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,……….

    “I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit !!!!

    WAN