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Sat Nav

- 18 February 2013, 06:02


I have a little SatNav

I have a little SatNav.
It sits there in my car.
A SatNav is a driver’s friend,
It tells you where you are.

I have a little SatNav.
I’ve had it all my life.
It’s better than the normal ones.
My SatNav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions,
Especially how to drive
“It’s thirty miles an hour,” it says,
“You’re doing thirty-five.”

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake,
And tells me that it’s never, ever
Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green.
It seems to know instinctively,
Just when to intervene.

.It lists the vehicles just in front
.And all those to the rear
.And taking this into account,
.It specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device,
For when we leave and lock the car,
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey’s pretty fraught,
So why don’t I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I’m properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things
And…keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I really wish that just for once,
I could f*****g turn it off.

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