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The Ventriloquist

- 15 May 2013, 07:05

The Ventriloquist:

An English ventriloquist visiting Scotland  walks
into a small village and sees a local sitting on his
veranda patting his dog.

He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Scot
‘Gooday, mind if I talk to your dog?’

Scot: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid English bastard.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’

Scot: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (pointing at the Scot)

Dog: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’

Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food
And takes me to the lake once a week to play.’

Scot: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’

Scot: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.’

Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’

Horse: ‘Cool’

Scot: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the Scot)

Horse: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
from the Elements.’

Scot: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’

Scot: (in a panic)¬† The sheep’s a Flipping liar !!!


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