Wan's World

Month: January 2014

  • Sometimes

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    S O M E T I M E S

    Sometimes….when you cry….
    no one sees your tears.

    Sometimes….when you are in pain….
    no one sees your hurt.

    Sometimes….when you are worried….
    no one sees your stress.

    Sometimes….when you are happy….
    no one sees your smile.

    –

    –

    –

    But FART !! just ONE friggin’ time…..
    And everybody notices!!

    And You thought this was going to be one of those
    heart-touching stories!

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    Send this on to your friends if they

    need a Laugh

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  • God said to Adam

    God  said,
    “Adam, I want you to do something for Me.”
    Adam  said,
    “Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?”

    God  said,
    “Go down into that valley.”
    Adam  said,
    “What’s a valley?”
    God  explained it to him.  
    Then  God said,
    “Cross the river.”
    Adam  said,
    “What’s a river?”  
    God  explained that
    to him, and then said,
    “Go over to the  hill….”  
    Adam  said,
    “What is a hill?”
    So,  God explained to Adam what a hill was.
    He told Adam,
    “On the other side  of the hill you will find a cave.”
    Adam  said,
    “What’s a cave?”
    After  God explained,
    He said, “In the cave you will find a woman.”
    Adam  said,
    “What’s a woman?”  
    So  God explained
    that to him, too.
    Then, God said,
    “I want you to
    reproduce.”
    Adam  said,
    “How do I do that?”
    God  first said (under his breath), “Geez…..”  
    And  then,
    just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as  well.  
    So,  Adam goes down into the valley,
    across the river, and
    over the hill,  into the cave, and finds the woman.
    Then, in
    about five minutes, he  was back.
    God,  his patience
    wearing thin,
    said angrily,
    “What is it  now?”  
    And  Adam said….  
    *  
    *  

    (YOU’RE  GOING TO
    LOVE THIS !!!!!!)
    *
    *
    *
    “What’s a migrane?”
    WAN

  • No sex since 1955

    A crusty old Chief Bosun’s Mate found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
    There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief for conversation. “Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

    “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

    The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

    “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

    The Chief just stared at her in his serious manner.

    Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

    “1955, ma’am.”

    “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”
    The Chief said, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”

    (Gotta love military time)

    WAN