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Washington DC Airport Ticket Agent

- 4 March 2013, 02:03


A DC ‘airport ticket agent’ offers some examples of why the   US   is in so much trouble!  

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to   Cape Town . I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but   Cape Town   is inMassachusetts   ..”

Without trying to make  him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod   is in   Massachusetts   ,   Cape Town   is in   South Africa   ..”  
His response — click..

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a   Florida   package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in   Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since   Orlando   is in the middle of the state.

He replied, ‘Don’t lie to me!, I looked on the map, and   Florida   is a very THIN state!!” (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see   England   fromCanada   ?”

I said, ”No.”

She said, ”But they look so close on the map” (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car inDallas   .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in   Dallas   … When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard   Dallas   was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)  called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from   Detroit   left at   8:30 a.m., and got to   Chicago   at   8:33 a.m.

I explained that   Michigan   was an hour ahead ofIllinois   , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A   New York   lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting  him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for   Fresno   , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to   Hawaii   . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to   California   and then take the train to   Hawaii   ?”

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from   Ala.   who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”

I asked him what exactly he  meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ”I need to fly to   Pepsi-Cola   ,   Florida   . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”

I asked if she meant fly to   Pensacola   and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to   China   . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to   China   many  times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to   China   four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from   Chicago   to Rhino,   New York   .”

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”  
‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.  
After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t  find a rhino anywhere.”

”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of   New York   and finally offered, ”You don’t mean   Buffalo   , do you?”

The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it’s in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?


I don’t write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

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