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- 14 July 2013, 06:07
Distracted Driving Incident 
This morning on the Interstate,

I looked over to my left and there was a

In a brand new

Doing 65 mph

With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror 

Putting on her eyeliner. 

I looked away

For a couple seconds…

to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was 

Halfway over in my lane, 

Still working on that makeup. 

As a man, 

I don’t scare easily.

But she scared me so much;

I had to put on my seat belt
I dropped

My electric shaver 

Which knocked

The donut 
Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car 

Using my knees against 
The steering wheel, 

It knocked 

My Cell Phone 

Away from my ear 

Which fell 

Into the coffee

Between my legs! 


And burned 

Big Jim and the Twins, 

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers, 

And disconnected an
Important call.

Damn women drivers



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