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Idiot Sightings

- 23 May 2012, 11:05

Idiot sighting

 

I  handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for  $400.00 

I said “May I have large bills,  please” 

 

She  looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are  the same size.”

When I got up off the floor I  explained it to her….

 

 

IDIOT   SIGHTING

When  my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to  pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked  in it. 

We went to the service department and found  a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side  door. As I  watched from the passenger side, I  instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that  it was unlocked. 

‘Hey,’ I announced to the  technician, ‘it’s open!’ 

His reply: ‘I know. I  already got that  side  .  ‘

This  was at the Ford dealership in  Canton ,MS

  

IDIOT  SIGHTING  

We had to have the garage door repaired. 

The  Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was  that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the   opener.

I  thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest  one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  

He  shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a  1/4  horsepower.’

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.  

He  said, ‘NO, it’s  not..’ Four is larger than  two.’  

 

We   haven’t used Sears repair  since.

 

 

IDIOT  SIGHTING

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.  

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a  quarter.

She  said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill  back.  

She  sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me  to repeat my request. 

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said  ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’  

The  clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in  change.  

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

 

 

IDIOT   SIGHTING 

I  live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don’t think this is a good place for them to  be crossing anymore.’

 

From  Kingman , KS   

 

 

 

IDIOT   SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE 

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  

She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal  lettuce.’ 

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From: Kansas City       

 

 

IDIOT   SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 

‘ Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ 

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ 

He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

 

Happened in  Birmingham , Ala.

 

 

 

IDIOT  SIGHTING 

The  stoplite on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. 

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. 

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. 

Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ 

 

She was a probation officer in  Wichita , KS    

   

IDIOT  SIGHTING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’  our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun.. We should  do this more often.’ 

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

 

This was a lunch at  Texas   Instruments. 

 

 

IDIOT  SIGHTING   

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself  and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. 

A deputy with the  Dallas County  Sheriffs office, no less.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

How would you pronounce this child’s name?

“Le-a”

Leah??                 NO

Lee –  A??            NOPE 

Lay –  a??              NO  

Lei??           Guess Again. 

This child attends a school in  Kansas City , Mo.  

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. 

It’s pronounced “Ledasha”. 

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”   

 

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.  

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don’t be silent.

               

STAY  ALERT!  (they vote and breed)


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