Wan's World

Author: csiadmin

  • TRUCKER’S BREAKFAST

    For many who travel, often the best food is a truck stop. I wonder what the waitress would have to say if someone actually ordered their breakfast as this guy did?!

     

    It’s coffee  (honest!), A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe’ and placed his order.

     

    He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.’

     

    The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, ‘This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?’

     

    ‘No,’ the cook said. ‘Three flat tires… mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights… is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards… are
    2 slices of crisp bacon!

     

    ‘Oh… OK!’ said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

     

    The trucker asked, ‘What are the beans for, Blondie?’

     

    (I love this  one…! )

     

    She replied, ‘I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!

     

    FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!!!!!

    WAN

  • The Hat

    Amazing how your values change as you age!
    20131109_The Hat
    I LOVE THIS WOMAN
    An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
    A gentleman approached her and said, “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”
    “Yes, I know,” said the lady. “I need both my hands to hold onto this hat.”
    “But madam, you must know that you are notwearing any panties and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
    The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

  • SUBSTITUTE DOCTOR

    You have to love Ole:
    Ole  Fills In
    A  doctor in Duluth , Minnesota wanted to get
    off work and go hunting, so he approached  his assistant.

    “Ole, I am  goin’ huntin’ tomorrow and don’t want to close  the clinic. I want you to
    take care of all my  patients.”

    “Yes, sir!” answers  Ole.

    The doctor goes hunting and the following day asks: “So, Ole, How was  your day?”

    Ole told him that he took care of three  patients. “The first one had a headache so I  gave him TYLENOL.”

    “Bravo, mate, and the second one?”

    “The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,” says  Ole.

    “Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” 

    “Sir,  I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off  everything including her panties and lies

    down on  the table and shouts: ‘HELP ME –  I haven’t seen a man in over two  years!!’”

    “Tunderin’ Lard Yeezus,  Ole,
    What did  you do?” asks the doctor.

    “I put  drops in her eyes!!”

      You thought  I was sending a dirty joke!!
    WAN

  • The Black Bra..

    The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
    I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

    One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.  We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

    Here’s how it all went…………

     Engaged friend:
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.

    The mistress:
    Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.  When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

    Then I had to share my story:
    When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings,  stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me  he said:
    The Black Bra

     

    “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

  • The Doorbell

    A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. 

    “Looking for a man with three qualifications: 
    won’t beat me up, 
    won’t run away from me, 
    and is great in bed.” 

    Two days later her doorbell rings. 

    “Hi, I’m Tim. 
    I have no arms so I won’t beat you, 
    and no legs so I won’t run away.” 

    “What makes you think you are great in bed?” 
    the woman retorts. 

    Tim replies, 
    “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?” 

    WAN

  • American Football

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first 
    football game. 
    They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. 
    After the game, he asked her how she liked the 
    experience. 
    “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, 
    “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, 
    but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing 
    each other over 25 cents.” 

    Dumbfounded, her date asked, 
    “What do you mean?” 

    She replied,
    “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, 
    and then for the rest of the game, all they kept 
    screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! 
    Get the quarterback!’ 
    I’m like, hello? 

    It’s only 25 cents!” 

    WAN

  • The clever old man

    20130909_The clever old man

  • Funny Stuff, Enjoy!

    20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_027 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_026 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_025 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_024 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_023 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_022 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_021 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_020 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_019 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_018 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_017 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_016 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_015 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_014 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_013 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_012 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_011 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_009 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_008 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_007 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_006 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_005 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_004 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_003 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_002 20130905_Funny Stuff Enjoy_001

  • MOVING TO DETROIT

    MOVING TO DETROIT

    Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Detroit,
    when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

    “What’s the matter?” Bob asked.

    “I’ve been transferred to Detroit – I’ve heard the people are crazy there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots,
    drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.”

    Bob replied, “I’ve lived in Detroit all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own
    business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world    , even Chicago, NYC, Miami, LA,  !!”

    The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK,
    I’ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?”

    “I’m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.”

    20130903_MOVING TO DETROIT

  • Right Foot Test

    20130903_Right Foot Test