During a lady’s medical examination, the doctor says:- “Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”
The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.
“No! No! Don’t remove your clothes… Just stick out your tongue!”
A little old man shuffled slowly into the ‘Orange Dipper’, an ice cream parlor in Gilbert , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids
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Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly!
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably
Never regret anything that made you smile
The best things in life are free
Until the government finds out and taxes em’.
BANGKOK WARNING……….
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW
Answers:
1. The third room. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are dead.
That one was easy, right
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry shot held under water; and hung
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow
5. The letter e which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
I’ll be getting Alzheimers any time now.
How did you do
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Heathrow Airport
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, ‘Man, I wish we had something to drink!’
Jim says, ‘Me too. I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?’
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It’s Jim. Jim says, ‘Hey, how do you feel this morning?’
Dave says, ‘I feel great, how about you?’
Jim says, ‘I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?’
Dave says, ‘No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..’
‘ Yeah, well there’s just one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Have you farted yet?’
‘No.’
‘Well, DON’T – cause I’m in Athens ‘
