Wan's World

Author: csiadmin

  • What can a man do with 3 naked women?

    This is Brilliant

     

     

     

    NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED, IS IT?

     

  • Legal jokes

    Legal jokes for free

    A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?”
    “Do you have any proof?”, asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man.
    “Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owes you,” said the lawyer.
    “But it’s only $500!” replied the man.
    “Precisely, that’s what he will reply and we will have the proof we need,” said the lawyer.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”
    The student replied, “Here’s an orange.”
    The professor was outraged.”No! No! Think like a lawyer!”
    The student then replied, “Ok. I will tell him – “I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding.”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    WANA dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
    Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
    Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”
    The lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?” “$7.98.”
    A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
    Attached to it was an invoice that read: ‘Legal Consultation Service: $150.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with Honors, and then went home to join his father’s legal firm.
    At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father’s office, and said, “Father, you know what, in one day I managed to solve the accident case that you’ve been working on for 10 years!”
    His father responded: ” You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for 10 years!”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • The Buzzard, The Bat and the Bumblebee

    THE BUZZARD

    If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet
    and is entirely open at the top,
    The bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.
    The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground
    with a run of 10 to 12 feet.
    Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly,
    But will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
    THE BAT
    The ordinary bat that flies around at night,
    a remarkably nimble creature in the air,
    Cannot take off from a level place.
    If it is placed on the floor or flat ground,
    all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and,
    No doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation
    from which it can throw itself into the air.
    Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
    THE BUMBLEBEE
    A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies,
    unless it is taken out.
    It never sees the means of escape at the top,
    but persists in trying to find some way out
    Through the sides near the bottom.
    It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
    PEOPLE
    In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee.
    We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!
    That’s the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem…
    Just look up!
    Sorrow looks back,
    Worry looks around,
    But faith looks up!
    Live simply,
    Love generously,
    Care deeply,
    Speak kindly, and
    Trust in our Creator,
    Who loves us.
    Share this with a friend… I just did

  • Finally Together

    THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER …
    Judy got married and had 13 children. 
    Her first husband,Ted, died of cancer.

    She married again, and she and Sam had 7 more children. 
    Sam was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

    Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

    Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

    Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. 
    He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
    “Lord, they are finally together.”

    Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret,
    “Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”

    Margaret replied,     “I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . Her legs..”

  • Chinese Sick Day

    Since we will be speaking Chinese soon, thought you might enjoy…and get this boss’s address!
    Chinese Sick Day
    CHINESE SICK LEAVE : ‘I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!’Hung Chow calls into work and says, ‘Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.’

    The boss says, ‘You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.’

    Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. ‘I do what you say, boss, and I feel great. I be at work soon………
    You got nice house’

  • Proof Positive that the Day has Finally Arrived that Albert Einstein predicted

    The day that Albert Einstein most feared may have finally arrived.

    Having coffee with friends.

    A day at the beach.

    Cheering on your team.

    Having dinner out with your friends.

     Out on an intimate date.

    Having a conversation with your BFF

    A visit to the museum

    Enjoying the sights

     

  • Nymphomaniac Convention


    WANA man boarded an aircraft at London ‘s Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
    He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo – she took the seat right beside him.

    “Hello”, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”

    She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States .”

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

    “Lecturer,” she responded,” I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality..”

    “Really”, he smiled, “what myths are those?”

    “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
    Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
    We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.”

    Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don’t even know your name!”

    “Tonto,” the man said. “Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.”

  • RIP

    Have you seen anything like this?


  • Actual Death Row Execution in Arkansas–GRAPHIC!!!!

    WANOnly sending this to those who are in favor of the death penalty.
    Violence should have serious consequences, and the punishment should reflect the crime, but budget cuts have forced some cost cutting measures.The Arkansas Gas Chamber….

    Not a pretty way to die, but extremely effective.
    Since this gas chamber was pressed into service, violent crime in Arkansas has dropped by 90%.
    9 other states are considering similar changes.

  • Mr Gorsky

    WANOn July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot

    on the moon.

     

    His first words after stepping on the moon, “that’s one

    small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” were

    televised to earth and heard by millions. But just before

    he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark –

    “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky”.

     

    Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark

    concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut. However,

    upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the

    Russian or American space programs.

     

    Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as

    to what the – ‘Good luck, Mr. Gorsky’ – statement

    meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

     

    On July 5, 1995, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter

    brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong.

     

    This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died,

    so Neil Armstrong felt he could now answer the question.

     

    In 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-western town,

    he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His

    friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard

    by their bedroom window. His neighbors were Mr. and

    Mrs. Gorsky.

     

    As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong

    heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky –

     

    “Sex! You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next

    door walks on the moon!”

     

    True story. It broke the place up.