Ahem…….

The other day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the wicked behaviour going on.  So He sent one of His angels to earth to look into it.

When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on earth; 85% are misbehaving and only 15% are being good.”

God was not pleased, so he decided to e-mail the 15% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?  

NO?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one either.

I never cease to marvel at the Free Enterprise System, When a product reaches the point where it’s nigh on to impossible to improve its functionality, someone will still come up with a way to make people want to ditch their old one and get yours.

Check out these motorcycle helmets. The Cops are gonna love these.

If you’ve ever had an Indian taxi driver you’ll love this one…

A drunken totally naked woman jumped into a taxi at Fortitude Valley in Brisbane, Australia.

The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the Cab.

“What’s wrong with you Luv, haven’t you ever seen a nude woman before?”

“I’ll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from…”

“Well, if you’re not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?”

“Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me?”

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.   The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.   He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.  As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.   Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.   Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.   Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.   As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.   The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.   The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.   Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.   He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.   The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.