Wan's World

Day: June 23, 2013

  • SENIORS IN ARIZONA

    SENIORS IN ARIZONA
    Where it is sunny & wonderful!
    We live longer & have young ideas!
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    Getting old in Arizona
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    Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Tucson, doing nothing.
    One lady turns and asks, ‘Do you still get horny?’
    The other replies, ‘Oh sure I do.’
    The first old lady asks, ‘What do you do about it?’
    The second old lady replies, ‘I suck a lifesaver.’
    After a few moments, the first old lady asks, ‘Who drives you to the beach?’
    *************************************************
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    Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Phoenix reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
    The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..
    The third old lady remarked, ‘I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about.
    *************************************************
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    A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes, an Arizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, ‘Are you a stranger here?’
    He replies, ‘I lived here years ago.’
    ‘So, where were you all these years?’
    ‘In prison,’ he says.
    ‘Why did they put you in prison?’
    He looked at her, and very quietly said, ‘I killed my wife..’
    ‘Oh!’ said the woman. ‘So you’re single…?!’
    *************************************************
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    A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa , ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It’s perfect.’
    ‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
    ‘Twelve thirty.’
    *************************************************

    A little old man shuffled slowly into the ‘Orange Dipper’, an ice cream parlor in Gilbert , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
    After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
    The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
    ‘No,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids
    *************************************************
    Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly!
    Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably
    Never regret anything that made you smile
    The best things in life are free
    Until the government finds out and taxes em’.

  • SENIOR VACATION PICTURES

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  • AUNTY ACID

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  • Why don’t we think of something like this?

    Thought you’d enjoy:
    From The London Times:
    A Well-Planned Retirement
    Outside England’s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees for cars was $1.40, and for buses $7.
    Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up, so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo’s own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.
    The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.
    Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who’d apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day — for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars. And no one even knows his name.

    WAN

  • BANGKOK WARNING

    BANGKOK WARNING……….
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  • 5 Riddles

    The 5 Riddles

    THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN

    THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM.
    RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING.
    IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN
    AND STALLS ALZHEIMER’S FOR YEARS

    1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him

    2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

    3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away

    4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday

    5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching

    THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW

    Answers:

    1. The third room. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are dead.
    That one was easy, right

    2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry shot held under water; and hung

    3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

    4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow

    5. The letter e which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

    I’ll be getting Alzheimers any time now.
    How did you do

    WAN