Wan's World

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  • Are We Too Old to Drive thisCar?

    This will make you stop and think…..  The future is coming toooo fast.

    Too Old to Drive this Car?

    2012 Mercedes

     Are we GETTING TOO old to DRIVE this Car?   Not just me, YOU too!

    No joke!  Scary!  But true?

    Scroll down 

    Presenting 

      the New Mercedes Benz SCL 600

    Pretty, isn’t it?

    So? 

    What’s different about this car?

     

    Not this….

     

    OR even this… 

    Here is the real difference

    WHOA ! 

    NoSteering Wheel

    No Pedals either 

    You drive this car with a joystick 

    Do you think that you can drive with a joystick? 

    Your kids and  grand kids sure can. The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn’t you say? 

     

    But there is more! The SCARY THOUGHT is: NOW a 3-YEAR-OLD can STEAL your car AND DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU CAN ! 

     

    Yep

    – Start checking the senior bus schedule!!!

  • EINSTEIN’S THEORY


    WHO KNEW?

     

    Einstein was born March 14, 1879.  He would be 132 if he were alive today.

    Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.

    At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa “because she was so well endowed”.

    He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection.

     

    This came to be known as . . . . 

     

    Einstein’s Theory of “Relative Titty.”

     

    Oh, quit groaning!  I don’t write this sh*t, I receive it from my warped friends.
    Anyway, it beats the hell out of all that political crap.

  • This Rocks! A Little Known Way To Earn…

    Many people are making money with Amazon [as well as buying lots of stuff from Amazon]. What many people know, but don’t realize, is that Amazon also sell products provided by others and you will see this in the small print “Fulfilled by Amazon”.

    This book is about using the “Fulfilled by Amazon” system to sell your own products, similar
    to eBay, but MUCH EASIER!

  • Just carving a tree

    It takes a lot of talent to carve a tree………

  • What $4.00 a Gallon Brings To Your Driveway…

    The Smart Car.

    If Gasoline prices keep going up, then …….

    What we will be forced to drive quite soon.

     

    But it is not all grim news……..

    Look at all of the ‘great new choices’

     

    We will have evolving from ‘The SMART Car’….

    The Smorvette!

    The Smaudi A3 AWD!

    The Smamborghini!

    The Smorsche!

    The Smerrari!

    And last,but not least,

     

     

     

     

     

    The Smustang

  • Billy Graham’s Suit

    Billy Graham, Born 1918.

    Billy Graham is now 93-years-old [2012] with Parkinson’s disease. 

    In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte , North Carolina , invited their favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor. 

    Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson’s disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, ‘We don’t expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.’

    So he agreed. 

    After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, “I’m reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century.

    Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. 

    It wasn’t there. 

    He looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. 

    Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it. 

    “The conductor said, ‘Dr. Einstein, I know who you are..  We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket.  Don’t worry about it.’

    “Einstein nodded appreciatively.

    The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket. 

    “The conductor rushed back and said, ‘Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one.’ 

    Einstein looked at him and said, ‘Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going.” 

    Having said that Billy Graham continued, “See the suit I’m wearing? It’s a brand new suit. My children, and my grandchildren are telling me I’ve gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. 

    You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I’ll be buried. But when you hear I’m dead, I don’t want you to immediately remember the suit I’m wearing. I want you to remember this:

    I not only know who I am. I also know where I’m going.” 

  • WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

    WANWhat Causes Arthritis?

    A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

    He opened his newspaper and began reading.

    After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,    ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’

    The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’

    The drunk muttered in response,  ‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ then returned to his paper.

    The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

    ‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong.  How long have you had  arthritis?’

    The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father.  I was just reading here that the Pope does.’

     

    MORAL: Get the facts first –

  • Little Johnny Strikes Again

    WAN
    THE TEACHER ASKED THE CLASS TO USE THE WORD ‘FASCINATE’ IN A SENTENCE.

    MOLLY PUT UP HER HAND AND SAID, ‘MY FAMILY WENT TO MY GRANDDAD’S FARM, AND WE ALL SAW HIS PET SHEEP. IT WAS FASCINATING.’

    THE TEACHER SAID,

    ‘THAT WAS GOOD, BUT I WANTED YOU TO USE THE WORD ‘FASCINATE, NOT FASCINATING’.

    SALLY RAISED HER HAND.

    SHE SAID, ‘MY FAMILY WENT TO SEE THE CIRCUS AND I WAS ‘FASCINATED.’

    THE TEACHER SAID,

    ‘WELL, THAT WAS GOOD SALLY, BUT I WANTED YOU TO USE THE WORD ‘FASCINATE.’

    LITTLE JOHNNY RAISED HIS HAND.

    THE TEACHER HESITATED BECAUSE SHE HAD BEEN BURNED BY LITTLE JOHNNY BEFORE.  SHE FINALLY DECIDED THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD DAMAGE THEWORD ‘FASCINATE’, SO SHE CALLED ON HIM.

    JOHNNY SAID,

    ‘MY AUNT GINA HAS A SWEATER WITH TEN BUTTONS, BUT HER TITS ARE SO BIG SHE CAN ONLY FASTEN EIGHT’.

    THE TEACHER SAT DOWN AND CRIED.

  • Old Dogs

    WANnbsp;

    An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before
    long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

     

    The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”

     

    Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther
    is about to leap, the old German
    Shepherd exclaims loudly,

    “Boy that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

    Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

    “Whew!” Says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!”

    Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

    The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

    The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

    Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old
    German Shepherd says…

    “Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”

    Moral of this story…

    Don’t mess with the old dogs…

    Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
    Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

  • MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

    WANThe phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’

    ‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’

    ‘Speaking.’

    ‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When  your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.’

    ‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

    ‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV(aids). We can’t tell which is which.’

    ‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’ questioned Mrs. Sanders

    ‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.’

    ‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’

    ‘The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.