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Slightly used exclamation marks for sale

- 13 May 2013, 07:05
      It is with great horror that I read the following article just now:

 

     

        Washington, DC-Government officials confirmed today that supplies of the

     

        popular punctuation mark used to express surprise, shock or outrage, has

     

        reached critically low levels and shortages this writing season appear to be

     

        unavoidable.

     

       

          “The exclamation point has been over-used to the point of near-extinction,”

       

          said senior staff member, Janet Falcone, of the Office of Manageable Grammar

       

          (OMG). “People seem to be unable to write even the most basic thought

       

          without adding an exclamation point.”

       

         

            According to industry sources, the dwindling supplies and increased demand

         

            have depleted this once-rich resource. Compounding the problem is the

         

            growing number of English speakers in traditionally non-English regions.

         

            Exports of exclamation points have doubled every ten years since the

         

            mid-1970s, a growth rate that is only expected to increase this century.

         

           

              “It used to be that we could count on cartoonists and porn writers to

           

              intelligently manage the use of exclamation points,” Falcone said.

           

              “Unfortunately, their long-standing respect for punctuation is not shared by

           

              today’s writers.”

           

             

                But it’s ok. I have plenty for sale at a bargain price. They are hardly

             

                used so you cannot tell them from brand new ones!

             

               

                  Each exclamation mark comes with a free breast pump!!!

               

                 

                    Cheers!!!

                 

                   

                    Wan!!!

                  WAN


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