Category: Public Service Announcements

  • WWII History Factoids

    This is for you history buffs

    WAN

    1. The first German serviceman killed in WW II was killed by the Japanese ( China , 1937), The first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians ( Finland 1940); The highest ranking American killed was Lt Gen Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps.

    2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 years old: Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. His benefits were later restored by act of Congress.

    3. At the time of Pearl Harbor, the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced ‘sink us’); The shoulder patch of the US Army’s 45th Infantry division was the swastika. Hitler’s private train was named ‘Amerika.’ All three were soon changed for PR purposes.

    4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions, an airman’s chance of being killed was 71%.

    5. Generally speaking, there was no such thing as an average fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance, Japanese Ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while a passenger on a cargo plane.

    6. It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a big mistake. Tracers had different ballistics so (at long range) if your tracers were hitting the target 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction. Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely not something you wanted to tell the enemy. Units that stopped using tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down.

    7. When allied armies reached the Rhine, the first thing men did was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it) and Gen. Patton (who had himself photographed in the act).

    8. German Me-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York City, but they decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

    9. German submarine U-120 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet.

    10. Among the first ‘Germans’ captured at Normandy were several Koreans. They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the German Army until they were captured by the US Army. 

    11. Following a massive naval bombardment, 35,000 United States and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska, in the Aleutian Islands. 21 troops were killed in the assault on the island…. It could have been worse if there had actually been any Japanese on the island.

    12. The last marine killed in WW2 was killed by a can of spam. He was on the ground as a POW in Japan when rescue flights dropping food and supplies came over, the package came apart in the air and a stray can of spam hit him and killed him.

  • Hello, Ahh, is that you Boss?

    “Ah, is that you Boss? Ah, ah, I had a tiny accident today.”

    “Yeah, Boss. Well, ah…………………..let’s put it this way. There’s no damage to the truck at all”

  • From Nike…

    Do you Know why Nike designed this model?

     

    To avoid this:

    Have a great day!!!!!

     

  • Test Senior Eye Exam

    SENIOR EYE EXAM

    Do you need glasses??
    Look carefully at the picture below.

    Did you see the bare bum of the girl in the background?

    If you did see that in the picture, you need to have your
    eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the camera.
    My appointment is at 2pm tomorrow.  I’M STILL VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!

  • PHENOMENAL 2 LETTER WORD!!

    WANOne that you can have fun with…

    I’m sure you will enjoy this. Here is one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb,

    adj, adv, prep.

     UP
    Read until the end … you’ll laugh.

    This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is’UP.’   It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

    It’s easy to understand UP,  meaning toward the sky or at the top of the  list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

    At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?  We call UP  our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP  the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.  We lock UP  the house and fix UP the old car.

    At other times, this little word has real special meaning.

    People stir UP  trouble, line UP for tickets,  work UP  an appetite, and think UP excuses.

    To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

    And this UP  is confusing:  A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

    We open UP  a store in the morning but we close it UP at  night.  We seem to be pretty mixed UP  about UP!

    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of  UP,  look UP the  word UP  in the dictionary.  In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP  almost  1/4 of the page

    and can add  UP to about thirty definitions.

    If  you are UP  to it, you might try building UP  a list of the many ways UP  is  used.  It will take UP  a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP,  you may wind UP  with a hundred or more.

    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding  UP.  When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP.   When it rains, it soaks UP the  earth.  When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.   One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP,  for now . . . my time is UP!

    Oh  . . . one more thing:  What is the first  thing you do in the morning and the last thing  you do at night?


    U
     
    P
    !

    Did that one crack you UP?

    Don’t  screw UP.   Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not .. . . it’s UP  to  you.

    Now I’ll shut UP!

  • BETTER THAN VIAGRA !

    Penis Restaurant in BEIJING
    This is one place to visit if you wish for the most exotic of cuisines.

    The Guolizhuang Restaurant has four franchises in Beijing,
    and has expanded to Atlanta, Georgia and Chinatown.

    The Guolizhuang menu is a broad introduction to the medicinal
    benefits of eating animal penises and testicles.

    Ox penises help manliness. They’re cut along the side
     and shaped into little stars.

    The yak penis is served with a dragon.
    In the Guolizhuang restaurant there are more than
    30 different animal penises on the menu.
    And for very special guests there’s a list of others.


    ‘Henry’s whip’ is the house speciality at Beijing ‘s Guolizhuang restaurant.
    It’s a sheep’s penis on a stick covered in mayonnaise,

    sweet cheese, served on a bed of lettuce.

    A platter of ox and dog penises.
    The consistency and taste remind one of overly bitter rings
    of calamari, apparently.

    The penises are often dipped in soy or hot sauce.
    For women, eating penises is supposed to be good for the skin.


    Donkey penis served on a bed of lettuce.
    For Chinese guests, eating the sexual organs is not a test of courage,

    but rather a treatment for the libido.


    ‘The Chinese eat everything with four legs, except tables –

    and everything that flies except airplanes,’ goes a Chinese saying.
    At the Guolizhuang restaurant, customers can even order deer
    and sheep fetuses!
  • Alternative to Handgun under the Bed

    WAN

    Good news for those of you who do not have a
    Glock or Magnum nearby. 
       

    If you don’t have a gun, here’s a morehumane way to wreck someone’s evil plans for you. Did you know this? I didn’t. I never really thought of it before. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.

    Wasp Spray – A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high-risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when theywere counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead. 

    The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarilyblinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn’t attract attention from people like a can of pepperspray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.


    ——————————

    On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self-defense experts have a tip that could saveyour life.

    Val Glinka teaches self-defense to studentsat Sylvania South view High School. For decades, he’s suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.

    Glinka says, “This is better than anything I can teach them.”

    Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace orpepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says “spray the culprit in the eyes”. It’s a tip he’s given to studentsfor decades.

    It’s also one he wants everyone to hear. If you’re looking for protection, Glinka sayslook to the spray. “That’s going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out.” Maybe even save a life.


    Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good toknow, huh? It will also kill a wasp!!!

  • New Species Discovered


    They are referred to as “homo slackass-erectus” created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing, and spasmatic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. The “drag-crotch” shape also seems to effect brain function.

    Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. They receive food stamps and full government care. Unfortunately most are highly fertile.

  • Pfizer Corp announcement-must read

    WAN

    > Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
    > liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
    > suitable for use as a mixer.It will now be possible for a man to
    > literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call
    > this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of
    > “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”.
    > Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
    > Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
    > implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.This means that
    > by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs
    > and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with
    > them.
    > If you don’t send this to five old friends right away there will be
    > five fewer people laughing in the world.
    > Yesterday is history,Tomorrow is mystery,Today is opportunity