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Medical Advice

- 6 January 2013, 08:01
NOW THIS IS A REAL DOCTOR

Medical Advice to Live By……

Love this Chinese Doctor!

 
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise.
Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer;
it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that
mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that
way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have
two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more

vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing
sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about

food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving

safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways – chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and

health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English isapparently what kills you.


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